What I Would Have Told Myself 10 Years Ago

The other day I received a notification on facebook inviting me to join a group for my high school ten-year reunion.

Initially, I shuddered.

Before I go any further, I do realize that I am still young and have years ahead of me, God willing, but a ten-year high school reunion seemed light years away when I graduated. So, the fact that it is very much upon us is straight up weird to me. And yes, I just said straight up.

The little red notification box got my mind spinning in all sorts of directions.

One very interesting thing about my generation is that facebook was released the year we graduated. Although I didn’t actually get a facebook account until a couple years later, I’ve essentially had facebook since I graduated.

That means that not a lot is left to my imagination. Since I walked across that stage to accept my diploma, I know who has gotten married, had babies, started their own businesses, traveled the world, moved to a different state, gotten divorced, and even, sadly, passed away. When you graduate in a class of 700, a lot can happen in ten years. I don’t often wonder about my fellow classmates because I see their faces pop up on my news feed.

However, if I’m being really honest, the other direction my mind immediately went was negative.

I’m pretty sure if I dug around enough, somewhere I could find a paper written on what my ten years after graduation would look like. I know without a doubt it included a husband and kids on there, and here we are ten years later, and that’s a far cry from reality.

What is it about having a spouse and kids that make you feel validated in front of others and worthless if you don’t? Oh, the enemy sure is crafty.

Do I know better? I absolutely do. I know from the depths of my soul and heart that a spouse and kids are simply a gift from God, same as having a job, or a ministry. If I put my identity in those things alone, I’m bound to lose my identity at some point.

But the weirdest thing for me is that I was that girl in high school. I was the girl that didn’t date at all, and in my ugly flesh, I wanted things to be different ten years later. But they’re just not. And that’s what rose up in me as I clicked on that notification.

Did it wound my pride just a little? You bet it did.

Because the truth is, inside every grown woman, there’s still a 7th grade girl that wants to be the pursued, adored and chosen one. As girls, we want to feel special and loved. As grown ups, we still have crushes, we just don’t admit and giggle about them like we used to.

This past Tuesday night we launched Bible study! It was an amazing night with an exceptional word. Because of a few jobs I’ve been given for those specific evenings, I am unable to take notes. This note-taker about had a fit when I realized I wouldn’t be putting any pen to paper, but once I got over it, I was able to listen and receive. Although I tend to have an elephant brain, there is still so much I don’t remember. But one thing I know for certain is that not one of the 4,000 ladies could have walked out of there without the faithful truth that we are chosen and loved by God.

That isn’t just a mushy, make you feel good comment, it’s a fresh, biblical reality we all needed to hear.

I would know, because I’m that grown woman who desires to be pursued, chosen and adored. And the truth is, according to 1 Thessalonians 1:4, I already am.

If I could go back, I would have told myself ten years ago that although in ten years life may not look like I dreamed or expected, the way the Lord has engineered my circumstances up until now are better than I could have engineered them. I would have told myself to chill out, that having a husband and children, though a legitimate desire of my heart, doesn’t mean I’ve arrived. I would have told myself that God indeed writes a better story than I can or ever will.

Every time I’ve tried to go after something myself the past ten years, God has thwarted my plan. Every time I’ve tried to hold onto something that wasn’t of Him, He’s snatched it right out of my hands. Every time I’ve pretended to be in control, He’s proven to me that He is faithful, and I’d rather Him be in control, even if I’m perplexed by what He’s doing. Every time I’ve doubted His goodness, I’m reminded that even when circumstances aren’t necessarily good, He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

I don’t know if I’ll attend my ten-year reunion. To be honest, I’m still that insecure high school girl that is waiting to see who ends up going, and then I’ll make my decision. Husband-less. Child-less. I still have a God who’s been exceedingly faithful to me even when I’ve been completely faithless.

It’s been a good ten years.

I’m praying for immeasurably more to the glory of God for the next ten years.

Only the Lord knows what I’ll be writing then.

Hindsight is always 20/20, is it not?

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178 Responses to “What I Would Have Told Myself 10 Years Ago”

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Dori Cook says:

    I love you so much Lindsee Lou! This is such a sweet post from your heart with a huge message for women of all ages.

    I’m sure we all have our “things” 10 years ago that haven’t come to pass. I think that is what is so extraordinary and miraculous about the steadfast love of God. He never changes, but is always still working in our life. His plans, not always our own, are in a constant state of progression.

    Thus far He has led, right?

    Love and blessings,
    Dori

  2. 2
    Bekah says:

    Oh my goodness…I had the exact thoughts at the notification of my 10 year reunion. I did end up going – a friend of mine also in this boat went with me and together we coaxed ourselves inside and determined to make a good night of it. Waiting for a husband was so hard for me. I was convinced I’d be married at the conclusion of college and in truth just got married less than 2 months ago. And I’m 34. I’d written my husband (Mr. Missing, I called him) letters since March of 1997 and he’s been reading through them in the days since our wedding. We’re currently reading letters written in 1998, and the pages are full of deep hope that he would surface “soon.” My heart ached for my 20 year old self who had no idea she still had 14 years of singleness ahead. God blesses us with ignorance sometimes. But what a story He’s written now and I’m SO thrilled. Waiting was hard and while I will absolutely say Ryan was worth every single tear I cried…I haven’t forgotten all those tears and the loneliness that overrode me some days until I couldn’t breathe! Saying special prayers for grace for you today – and for each day between you and your Mr. Missing. (I, too, thought at the beginning of last year that there was no way I’d find a husband in the near future, but our relationship from start to marriage was less than 6 months, proving God has amazing love-story-writing talent!!) Hugs to you!

    • 2.1
      Sabrina says:

      Bekah, stories like yours are the ones we need to hear. Few people can relate to our stories and yours gives us hope! And thank you for not forgetting the tears. So many friends of mine have forgotten so quickly. And thanks for the Mr. Missing…genius!

      • Bekah says:

        Hey Sabrina! I lectured myself SO STERNLY when I was single – to never EVER forget the heartache. To never forget the lonely nights and all those things. Maybe that’s why God allowed me to be single so long – so those moments were so etched in my mind that I wouldn’t forget on the other side. I liked the Mr. Missing term…gave me hope he would become Mr. Found! :)

  3. 3
    Lauren Kelly says:

    Oh Lindsee, Lindsee…. Oh how I could have written this post myself WORD FOR WORD!!! I just had my 10 year high school reunion this past October. In the same boat, no husband and no kids. I tossed the idea back and forth whether or not I wanted to go. I kept thinking to myself what do I have to show for these last 10 years. Thinking that somehow because I had no husband and no kids there was something wrong with me. I’m still in school, as a matter of fact and in no established career (as of yet) and felt really insecure about that. I actually seriously considered telling everyone I invented “The post-it notes”… (Remember Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion movie, haha). And unfortunately our reunion lacked the “Time after Time” dance. I so hope you have seen this movie or you’ll have no clue what I’m talking about, ha! But I bit the bullet and decided I was going to hold my head high, nothing to be ashamed of, and just enjoy myself and catching up with everyone. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it! All that to say, don’t totally rule it out, and I TOTALLY get where you’re coming from!! XO

    • 3.1
      Lindsee says:

      Hi Lauren! Fun hearing from you! And yes, I think anyone planning on going to a reunion thinks of that movie. And post-it-notes. Hilarious!

  4. 4
    Jean says:

    My class has never really been able to pull of a successful reunion until Facebook came out (I graduated in 1985). The last reunion we had was three years ago, our 25th, and I did not attend because I was going through cancer and had lost all my hair. If it were a reunion of brothers and sister’s in Christ, I would have went in a heart beat. I think it’s more telling about the people in your graduating class. Of course perhaps everyone is a bit wiser and more merciful and I was just not giving them a chance. Reunions are more about like you said who’s married, who has kids, who’s put on weight, who’s balding, and who has gained succesfull careers. It’s one big contest that I don’t want to enter. I am content to watch on the sidelines of Facebook.

  5. 5
    Anna says:

    I definitely understand! Even in the midst of an engagement now, the ugly feelings throughout middle and high school that came from never being liked or pursued will hit me, wanting me to just lay In a ball and cry. I thought I was alone, which is a lie straight from Satan. Thanks for sharing :)

  6. 6
    Elisabeth says:

    Lindsay~

    Girl, I wish I lived in Texas so that we could be friends! You have no idea 1. How much what you said is going to be a fresh blossom of hope for some of these Siestas, and 2. How many of us there are in the exact same place or stage!
    I’m 30. I’ve never dated. Never been pursued. And that was VERY much also my ten-year plan.
    But being involved in ministry & seeing others experience the radical, core-altering truth of Jesus the way we’re both humbled and blessed to is far better than any future I’d imagined in high school.
    I still can’t believe I get to half the time! I just keep falling more in love every day, don’t you?!
    Thanks for that (perfectly timed) word today!

  7. 7
    JG says:

    First off, thanks so much for sharing! This is such a personal confession, but one that so many need to hear! I think you’ll be surprised to hear just how many women out there have mirrored this exact experience and set of feelings.

    I’m about to come up on my 20th high school reunion and am not married yet either. These days I’m coming to see, as you clearly are – that God is always ready to teach us – even as he asks us to wait. And for this self confessed control freak, the lesson he’s trying to teach me is blindingly clear – “Give me control!” True acceptance means I stop trying to make my life look like what I want and true submission means I hand it to God.

    Blessings on you as you live the life you’ve been given happily and blessings on us all as we try to do the same!

  8. 8
    Penny says:

    I love you Lindsee…and after reading your heart put into words this morning, my love for you abounds even more.
    You, my sweet friend, are precious.
    Thank you for that!

    • 8.1
      Lindsee says:

      I love YOU, my friend. Still glance at your text every now and then! Definitely encouraging words to my heart.

  9. 9
    Michelle Baylerian says:

    Dear Lindsee,

    How precious you are to Him & the entire body of Christ. You are so willing to be raw about who you are, what you’re struggling with, etc. Know that as a 51 yr old, I still struggle with feeling unworthy of God’s love! I have to fight back with the truth of the Word!! I heard Pastor James McDonald quoting an author saying we are the ones who preach to ourselves all day long & that he is only the weekend preacher. How true? What are we preaching to ourselves??

    The enemy pitched an arrow at me this morning, BUT I have the shield of faith & sword of truth to combat those lies.

    You are deeply loved by this woman!! An amazing servant of the most High God, rest in that truth dear one!! xoxo

  10. 10
    Amy says:

    Lindsee,

    I was going to come on here and say, “Oh, Lindsee…” but then I saw that most of your replies start out with just that. Then I thought I would share just how much we are a like – but that was taken too. Then I thought I would tell you how much I wish we lived closer and could go for coffee and become good friends – taken as well. But I think you understand I mean those things too!

    Again, I know people have been saying the same thing, and I am not exception. Just like some of the others have stated, I have gone through the same thought process. Although, my story is slightly different because I didn’t attend public or private school – I was one of those homeschooled kids. Yes, true, but I wouldn’t have traded it for a day. Somehow I feel I need to tell you that neither do I wear long jean dresses everyday nor do I have no social life. Quite the opposite, actually, but that is beside the point! My 10th high school reunion consisted of me going home to see my family for the holidays. Still, I go through the thoughts of marriage and family almost on a daily basis. And just like some of our fellow Siestas, I have not had any relationships in the past. I have gone through many years of wishing, waiting, and praying.

    But as you said, we are CHOSEN and LOVED by God. I am encouraged by this reality daily. Every time I am tempted to wish away I back up and pray – this makes the waiting all the more special.

    It is okay to wish.
    It is okay to wait.
    It is a must to pray.

    Pray for him. Pray for future children that, in Jesus name, will be brought up to fear and love the Lord with all their heart, mind, body, and soul.

    One more thing: I read a story once of a young girl (forgive me if I forget all the details, but you’ll get the general idea)who was given a set of chinaware (the kind you usually get at your wedding). She kept it packed up and put away for when she would be married. Days, months, and years passed on and she found herself older (somewhere in her early 30s). One day she was praying about her future – future husband, life, dreams – when God spoke to her heart and told her to take those dishes out and use them. Why wait?! So she did – every day! Such a good reminder to live the life we hope to with someone in it one day! I may not know the date I’ll get married, but I don’t want to wait to enjoy the life God has given me.

    Thank you, Lindsee, for all you say and put out there for us to see and relate to. You are truly a gem!

  11. 11
    Dutchess says:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’m a happily married woman with 2 beautiful daughters so you’d think I don’t relate to what you’ve penned so beautifully, but trust me I do. I still recall sitting up late at night with my box of Kleenex watching Pretty Woman and crying out to God (as Julia Robert’s character had) “I want the fairy tale!” I have a wonderful but very practical husband (no fairy tale) and I wanted a romantic fairy tale. But God’s immediate response in my spirit was why ask for the fairy tale when what you have is so much better? He was talking not about my husband but my love relationship with Him and He was so right, the relationship that I have with Him, that spills over into every other relationship is better than any fairy tale because it’s real with a REAL happily ever after. Be encouraged & I’m praying for you as you decide whether or not to go.

  12. 12
    Gale Boling says:

    What an awesome God we serve! You certainly have demonstrated his jeart and love. Your words are so onest, snd ring true for all women. Thank you Lindsee, i for one among many, are happy He has placed you right whete you are! To his glory!

  13. 13
    Lindsey says:

    Loved this post! I am in the same situation and felt the same way. I ended up skipping my reunion last year – I think it was a good decision, because my heart just wasn’t in the right place about it. I love the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s so true, and when we embrace the unique plan God has for us, life becomes so much simpler, and filled with JOY and PEACE!!

  14. 14
    Gail Rowe says:

    It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
    Deuteronomy 31:8 (English Standard Version)

  15. 15
    fuzzytop says:

    Hi Lindsee! I loved this post! It reminded me of that Brad Paisley song, ‘If I could write a letter to me’. Your statement that “…I would have told myself that God indeed writes a better story than I can or ever will” is
    spot on. So much truth in that for all of us!

    Blessings to you, and I hope if you do decide to go to your reunion, you have a blast!

    Adrienne

  16. 16
    Rebecca says:

    What an incredible message, and what an amazing breath of fresh air to read your words. Having come so close to marriage a little under a year ago and watching the whole thing fall through was rough to say the least. But these words plant fresh hope in my soul not that “one day my prince will come and we’ll live happily ever after” But “the King of Kings has already come and died for me that I may live with grace and hope”

    Thank you for being brave enough to admit to your own dashed expectations so that you may bring the encouragement every single lady needs to hear!!

  17. 17
    Gail Rowe says:

    “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”
    1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

  18. 18
    Brooke says:

    You are precious and this post was a sweet reminder to me of how great our God is. You and I are walking in very similar shoes, dear sister. I too await to see what the Lord has planned. He has given me word “Trust” in which to focus my attentions on this year. My trust and my hope are surely in Him for He is faithful and true.

  19. 19
    Natalie says:

    Lindsee! You ARE a writer! Such a good blog post and so real. I hope you go to your reunion, because no one will be seeing “husbandless and childless” when they look at you. All they see when the look at you is how beautiful, accomplished, stylish, friendly, funny and Jesus loving you are! Love you!
    Tuesday night, like you, I was also so moved by 1 Thess 1:4. “For we know, “sisters” loved by God, that He has CHOSEN you!

  20. 20
    donna kuntz says:

    donna kuntz lutz fla. 33549

    Isa. 54:13 ESV
    All your childrenshall be taught by the Lord and great shaal be the peace of your children.

  21. 21
    Sierra says:

    Lindsey, that is definitely a legitimate pain. I wish I had something insightful to say but I don’t! I had my first at 18 (NOT married, still just a messed up kid myself) and it has been a hard road. I am now 26 with three kids and (thank God!) a great husband. I am incredibly thankful and have no doubts this is the path God is writing for my life. To be honest though I felt some pain and envy watching school friends go to college, go on vacations…even just have freedom to pursue interests or read a book, uninterrupted. I’ve never had a whole lot of free time to myself. I’ve been wiping hinnies all my adult life! hehe I guess we all have to embrace God’s plan for our own life. Comparison just brings unnecessary pain. I would say to a young single gal like you- don’t fret, just enjoy. You could be up to your arms in stinky diapers with huge bags from sleepless nights (hello newborn!) within a year or two. You just never know. Live it up and enjoy your free time. God Bless, Sierra

    • 21.1
      Lindsee says:

      Comparison absolutely does bring unnecessary pain, for sure! Yet in our humanness we do it all the time. Blessings to you, Sister!

  22. 22
    Tara G. says:

    You are precious. I was in your shoes. And to boot, I went to a Christian college; when I graduated without even a boyfriend, I was quite nearly lost with what to do with myself. It seemed I was the only one, but truly, I wasn’t, and God gave me time to grow and mature and own my faith and then He brought that special man around when we were both ready….years later. :) You have a maturity in the Lord that is such a blessing to many!

  23. 23
    Kristi B. says:

    I so needed to hear this today! Thank you so much Lindsee for sharing your heart with us!

  24. 24
    Kim says:

    Oh, Lindsee!

    You sweet thing. As a 52-year-old mother of three beautiful teenaged girls, I promise you, you have been on an amazing and absolutely ‘right’ road. To share your observations, thoughts, and insights with such skill and wisdom for one your age, you have so obviously been ordained to be exactly where you are. Sounds like I grew up much different from you – although in a Christian home – absolutely NO clue about how much Jesus persues each one of us individually and equally important, never knew that boundaries were so crucial to set in the knowledge of the value I had in Him. I married an absolutely amazing man in so many ways, but he is not a believer and although God is indeed working things out for good for this no longer ignorant daughter of his, I promise you, this was not the man God would have chosen for me. But I adore him and he my girls and me and God continues to blow my mind with the amazing ways He blesses me – me! – and continues to encourage and show me paths that allow me to serve Him by ministering to other women and SO many friends of my girls. Through my life experience I have gained so much insight and wisdom to share and through so many difficult seasons and terrible pit of sin, a passion that I have to constantly work to maintain to be effective. Today’s world is so aboslutely upside down in terms of living holy. Nothing about righteousness is ever celebrated publically, but I am continually amazed at how every single girl and even some boys I have had discussions with, or learned from conversations they’ve had with my daughters, that living righteous is honestly so respected and even envied. Like the one you are living. Regardless of what the world continues to preach, the consequences of sin are incredibly harmful and expensive. And these kids know it. They just are unaware there is a God who loves them so much and wants nothing more than to be sought by each one of them.

    But Lindsee knows. :) I promise you, it will be good for you to go to your reunion. Because you know who you are in Him and you will be so thankful that you do – both through confirmation of a few who may attend and recognize it as well as observing how those whom did marry and have children perhaps do not. And, most importantly, you may minister to even one through the amazing growth and maturity you so obviously have in your faith and passion for the One who adores every one of His children. Might just be a word someone absolutely needs to hear that otherwise wouldn’t.

    Go to the reunion and celebrate all God has done and the assurance you know you have in what He will continue to do – in His way and in His timing – and the faith you have in knowing that is the ONLY ‘right’ plan for you. No one will represent His truth and the reality of how lovely living righteous can be better than you.

    Love you so much, virtual though our connection may be. :)

    Kim

  25. 25
    Sabrina says:

    I can’t believe someone would post a page from my journal on this blog. Seriously, how’d you get it? :)

    Just want you to know there are so many of us out here who are going through the same feelings and disappointments, trying to fit into a world (especially the church) that doesn’t exactly accept us without said “gifts” and “accomplishments.”

    But how can you argue with a Savior who thwarts your every effort to change things? Obviously, He has chosen you to be the one He writes an extraordinary story for…that’s what I’ve chosen to believe.

    Adding you to my prayers, Lindsee. Thanks for being brave enough to share.

  26. 26
    Julie Johnston says:

    Lindsee,
    Go to the reunion! I didn’t marry until I was 32. God had a plan for me, and part of that plan was marrying later, when the right guy came along. That’s probably the plan for you, too. Plus, you will be surprised how many of your friends aren’t married yet. I remember my ten year reunion, and it was very fun, even though I didn’t even have a boyfriend at the time. By my 15th, I was married with a baby on the way.
    Go to the reunion, sweetie, secure in the fact that you are exactly in the place God wants you to be right now.
    Take care!
    Julie

  27. 27
    Janine says:

    Lindsee, love your posts! I just want to share that I know several women your age whom are encouraged by your honesty and heart for God. The women I am referring to are also single, several of them never having dated. Awesome, beautiful women who love the Lord. I have known these gals for almost fifteen years, and they watched me go through singleness until I met my husband in my early 30′s. I pray for you, each of you beautiful ladies who are waiting for God’s best. I know, it is tough stuff. Thank you for sharing your heart, it is making a difference!

  28. 28
    Erin says:

    I felt exactly this way when my 10 yr reunion rolled around (which was a few years ago). Having a husband and kids has always been one of my deepest longings, my big dream. And … it still hasn’t happened. There are days I have to constantly (and consciously) fight off little bolts of bitterness that shoot through my heart. I love God deeply and dearly. I love his Word. He’s the treasure of my life. But, like you said, there’s a deep, nearly painful desire in my heart for a guy to pick me, and love me. It sounds so pathetic to type. But it’s true. It’s hard. I don’t talk about it anymore, because inevitably some well-meaning woman (who usually married at 18) gives me the “called to be single” talk. That’s such a cruel think to say to a single woman, but people still say it ALL the time. A little sensitivity in ministry would go so far, I think. Anyway! :)

    I’m still trusting that God’s bringing an amazing man into my life. Still figuring out how to live in HIs Truth, and not dwell on the part of my life that sometimes makes me feel like a failure (especially in the church’s eyes). So thanks for sharing your heart on here, and reminding me to keep looking UP, keep thanking God for the amazing blessings He’s given me already, instead of looking at my circumstances. I love that you LProofers are always conscious of the single women you minister to. And it’s awesome to see a woman in ministry who is 1.) single and 2.) godly and gorgeous and realize … there’s nothing wrong with me either. I love my pastor’s advice to singles: “Run after God with everything you’ve got. And then look and see who’s running beside you.”

    Random, but loads of folks (including myself) didn’t go to our 10 year reunion. In reading between the lines, I realized that lots of us didn’t feel like we’d accomplished “enough” in some area. I didn’t go because I didn’t want to say, “No, I’m not married…” all night long. But other people didn’t go because they’d just lost jobs, or didn’t like the way they looked now … all manner of reasons. I made the right decision not going, but the whole ordeal reminded me that, deep down, we’re all a little bit lonely. We all want to be loved. We’re all our own worst critics.

  29. 29
    Christy says:

    I don’t know if this is comforting or not, but myself (a 40 year old unmarried woman) and a friend (a 50 year old unmarried woman) were expressing these exact same thoughts just this week. We try not to be envious of those friends we know whose ‘relationship lives’ have turned out pretty much like they envisioned them when we were all high schoolers.

    But after reading your post, I realized I don’t need to envy them, because if my life had come to fruition according to “my” plan, I think it would have been very much smaller and more remote from God than it is now. While I don’t have many of the outward symbols of successful aging (spouse, children, etc.), I have some pretty glorious things going on inside that will make me more successful in the eyes of the only one who matters, the LORD.

    The enemy knows how to coax those high school insecurities out of us and make us think they define us. Our true sign of success is when we can immediately answer those feelings with an “o’ no you didn’t… I’m God’s not yours” and laugh at the audacity of the enemy to try to make you believe it. What nerve!

    If you can walk into that reunion and OWN the glory God has worked through you (which we all see through your writings and ADORE) then go, because your “success” will be evident to all in the room.

  30. 30
    Amanda says:

    Oh I needed to read this today! I too thought that I would get married and have a van full of kids before my 30th birthday. God blessed me with marriage when I was 28 and my husband was 33. Nearly 3 years later we don’t have kids and EVERYONE around us does. My poor baby fever has spiked and there is no relief in sight! I thought that babies would have happened already and God in his wisdom is putting us on a different time table. It’s especially hard because I think in our Christian culture we have almost made an idol out of children; it’s hard to find your worth in Christian circles when you don’t have anything growing inside of you! But you are so right; our worth is not determined by our status of marriage or babies, and God’s story writing abilities are far better than mine. Thanks for reminding me that He is worth trusting!

  31. 31
    Megan says:

    Lindsee,

    Thank you so much for your transparent heart. Your message runs deep for so many. May God give you the desires of your heart!

  32. 32
    Sally says:

    Lindsee,
    I am sure there are lots and lots of women who are ministered to and blessed by your vulnerability. I would have been, since I was 31 when I met my husband.
    Shortly before I met him, I came to terms with my singleness, that if this was the best way for me to know Jesus, that I’d rather be single.
    Then, the Lord brought Jim into my life. I could not have picked a more compatible soul mate. We are still really happy now in our 23 rd year of marriage!
    You will see many good Christian people that don’t wait on the Lord in this area, and wind up with not the greatest marriages. Sometimes that doesn’t show up right away, but will after a few years of being in a relationship not from His hand. A friend who is a Christian counselor in a mega church told me that MOST people aren’t that happily married.
    Is it better to be happily single or unhappily married?
    You are happier than many.
    God bless you!
    Sally

  33. 33
    Susan Briggs says:

    Lindsee, I’m 28…”FINALLY” getting married this year…(a very fast romance similar to ones mentioned above…so just be ready cause it tends to hit ya fast when you’ve waited longer! :) I read your posts all the time because they remind me not to forget the pain of singleness. Yes, it is a gift, yes, it is freedom and travels and girls’ nights and fun, but it can still be painful. So many friends of mine have married and since forgotten the difficulties of singleness…I don’t want to be that person, because I want to be able to minister effectively to singles, and enter into the difficulties it brings. If it makes you feel any better, my 10-year-reunion is this year, too…and my mind spins about going as well, even though I’m engaged. Insecurities remain even with a spouse…we have to fight for freedom, and find security in Christ…single or married! Love you, girl, and praying for you today :)

    • 33.1
      Lindsee says:

      Thank you for your encouraging words, Susan! And fight for freedom is absolutely right. Yes ma’am we do! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! So happy for you!

  34. 34
    Kelly S says:

    Lindsee, that was beautiful ! What wisdom you have gained these last 10 yrs! I love you dearly!

  35. 35
    Claire says:

    Thank you Lindsee, as always, for your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable in front of the LPM Blog readers. Your blog posts are a blessing!

    Claire xo

  36. 36
    Brittney says:

    Great post Lindsee… I went to my husband’s ten year reunion and although I have a husband and two kids, I was insecure about other stuff (financial – didn’t think our 10 year plan would look like this!), I wasn’t sure how much comparison and judgment there would be. I remember my mom dieting and getting her hair done before reunions because there was all the stress to measure up and compare lives. I just have to tell you that we had a blast and there was none of that. I think it was thanks to facebook, we already knew families, jobs, education, where you live, etc. so we all just talked as friends and laughed about good memories. Maybe reunions aren’t all like that but it was a great night and I just wanted to encourage you not to miss a fun time – I think there is a lot less comparing than there used to be! Either way, so good to be reminded you are beloved to the king and nothing else compares!

  37. 37
    Wendy says:

    What beautiful truths you shared! I am so glad you know you are a woman loved by God. Blessings to you.

  38. 38
    Mary says:

    Sweet Lindsee,

    You have no idea how many sisters you have encouraged by your vulnerability and openess. You just keep doing what your doing sweet one~ God is already doing “immeasurabley more” through you! I know some other very precious Godly young women who are right where you are at and I know your words brought thier hearts great encouragement! What a delight you must be to those you journey life with… your heart leaps right off the computer screen through your words~ that is a gift indeed! Our God is Sovereign and Purposeful and His plans will prevail! Prov 19:21. Praise His Name!

  39. 39
    Kimmygirl says:

    You adorable Lindsee-
    I’m old enough to be your Mama, but I do remember agonizing over these types of events. It all boils down to our tendency to compare our lives to others- but what do we really know about somebody else’s life except what is external?
    We have expectations of where we picture our lives to be at a certain point, but does that leave room for trusting in God for His plan and timing ?
    My thought when I think of what I know about you from your posts is how you haven’t squandered your single years with the pursuit of a ‘guy’, ‘any guy’…. You have been serving with your life, and really impacting women of all ages, and even though that might seem like small comfort at times, our Lord sees you, and knows what He has for you- and is more tickled with you as we are! Continue to trust Him, dear girl!
    I’m planning on being in Houston next January with SSMT celebration, so be ready for a hug because I’m tracking you down!
    Love, Kim

  40. 40
    Elaine says:

    Dear Lindsee,

    I truly understand where you are coming from and I can only say, God is faithful! I will be praying for you, trusting the Lord to lead you, guide and give you the sweetest desires of your heart.

  41. 41
    Shaci says:

    Lindsee, (10 years? Really? I thought you were like24)

    That was so what I needed to hear! I thought that I would be the first one with a husband and kids out of my friends and I… but as it turns out I am the last one…. yes the very last one without children.. only a couple of my friends are married. I figured that maybe once I got out of high school I would end up marrying the guy I was dating.. but thank God, He had a different plan! That guy was very abusive and I didn’t realize it. I’m learning to let go and wait for His perfect timing! (: thanks for posting this girl!

  42. 42
    Sandra says:

    My 30 year HS reunion is coming up this summer. Just like you, I have a “mental picture” of what success looks like and where I “should be”. I’m sure to some of my friends I appear wildly successful and to others I look foolish. For the last 12 years I have been blessed to be able to create a genuine relationship with God…but that is not the sort of thing that just drops into a conversation over cocktails , you know?
    Being in the world vs. Being of the world. Wow–it is a challenge. I have been blessed to work through that struggle and only now, 30 years later, do I think I even have a sense of what God is working in me. You are so far ahead of the program compared to where I was at your age! I was a Christian by birth, but I did not have a relationship with Jesus Christ. The world told me I was rich, but I was spiritually poor.
    Thank you for giving all of an opportunity to reflect on our paths. Whether is it 10 years into adulthood, or 30 years into adulthood, I smile because i know we are still just CHILDREN of God. He is cheering for all of us. We just need to listen to hear HIS goodness and HIS hope for all of us.

  43. 43
    Christina says:

    You should go to your 10 year reunion. I went to my five, ten and twenty year reunion. I am still not married and childless. I have always been on the outskirts of the “groups” looking in, and since I only basically have stayed in touch with one person from high school, it was interesting to see how they have changed and where they are now. I know you see their news on facebook, but still, I think you should go.

  44. 44
    Brittany Kay says:

    I’m on this emotional roller coaster right now. Earlier today a friend tried to set me up with a very interesting guy (pretty exciting). I think it might be fun. I mean, free dinner? Why not?

    But then I was feeling a little sad and nervous because it’s a blind date and those are scary! And why can’t I just know that it’s a really nice friend that I’m going to be having dinner with? (It should be noted that I, too, do NOT date. This will be a first. If he even calls…)

    Then, I read your post and thought, “ME TOO!” I just got my 10 year facebook reunion message a couple of weeks ago. Yikes! (Do you want to be my date? I need someone to comfort me through it!)

    And finally, after reading all of these posts, it really makes me laugh because there are so many of us in the same boat! This is ridiculous. Do you think there’s some men’s blog where guys are making the exact same comments? Maybe one of us should look into that. (Just kidding. …but seriously??)

    So, know, sweet sister, that I cam empathize. It’s not easy!, especially when we see all of these dramatic life changes our friends are going through on social networking sites. I’ll just keep posting pictures of my cat and continue to remind myself that I know God has a plan. It sure isn’t easy, but He does.

    • 44.1
      Lindsee says:

      Oh Sister! Go on that blind date and have fun! Remember, you’re not committing to marriage by committing to a date. Enjoy and let him treat you like a lady! :)

  45. 45
    Kae Harding says:

    And Barnabus exhorted them to make it the set purpose of their heart to cleave to the Lord.

    Acts 11:23
    Wm Barclay

    Kae
    Florida

  46. 46
    Laurie Robinson says:

    Lindsee,
    I was married with a nine month old and pregnant with my second child at my 10 year reunion, and I didn’t want to go because I didn’t have a big fancy job or title. I didn’t graduate from an IV league school, and I didn’t have a lot of money. I was the girl who never had a boyfriend in high school too, you would think I would have been gloating.

    I think the enemy attacks you wherever you are, in the most personal way. Go or don’t, but know that there may be someone there who needs to be blessed by your gentle spirit and beautiful smile.
    Laurie

  47. 47
    Sue says:

    Lindsey,
    Your sweet openness was such a treat for me today.
    As I read your feelings about attending your reunion “husband-less” and “child-less” it made me think of a group of three podcasts Andy Stanley has on iTunes (under the heading of Buckhead Church) called “the Comparison Trap.”
    I have listened to them three or four times now and know that I will need to hear them again. They are a perfect addition to the scriptures that remind us that we are loved the way we are even f we don’t feel we measure up in the eyes of others. It’s a great reminder that when we spend to much time worrying about what others may think f us we are diminishing the value if what truly matters and that is what He thinks of us. And He thinks we are to beautiful”
    I just wanted to share this info in hopes that perhaps just one person would find some encouragement in them as I have in your blog posts.
    May you’ve blessed for your willingness to share.

  48. 48
    Eva Lawhorn says:

    Lindsee, I am waaay older than you and my 30th HS reunion has come and gone. At my ten year, my cousin and I got the “award” for longest marriage AND I got one for “most kids (4!) Let me tell you how incredibly sad it was that soooo many of my former classmates had married and divorced in such a short decade and most had children who were victims of divorce. I know God can and will make good from those broken marriages but, YOU are not in either of those circumstances and that just might be a HUGE blessing from God! I believe what Angela Thomas says in one of her books about wanting to be married. She believes God will honor that desire in HIs perfect timing if it IS His will. I believe it will happen to you IF you indeed desire to be a wife and/or mother. Meanwhile, enjoy the journey, date often (you are so beautiful inside and out) and relax with no pressure. Who knows, maybe that Prince Charming (earthly one) is going to that next reunion!! If not, you are blessed with the gift of singleness and wear it quite well. You are a shining example of a Jesus girl who’s adored by Her heavenly father!

  49. 49
    Cindi says:

    Lindsee, I love the way you write and in your perception you most assuradly convey God’s plan even when you don’t know it. That is pure FAITH ! I just wanted to Amen! to everything you said. You are on point!

  50. 50
    Angela says:

    Oh my goodness, Lindsee! I am the single girl from my TWENTY year reunion who didn’t date in high school and expected a husband and LOTS of children. At 20 year, I was still the single girl, “liked” but not remotely “cool,” if you know what I mean. Well, after single years in a calling custom-cut by God for me, I got married at age 38 and let me tell you 2 & a half years later, it is worth every second of single life to have the one God was saving for me and saving me for!! Life His Way is a great adventure and you soak it in, and look forward to the fullness of His plan unfolding. He will bless your faithfulness and your trusting wait, sweetheart. It’s a good, GOOD life!!

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