They’ll Never Know the Half of It

I do not have time to be writing on this blog this morning. I have five – count them FIVE – lessons to finish for my taping for Life Today this weekend. But I am also out of Midol and I’m hoping that blurting a few things out there in Siesta land will make me feel better. Keith and I had a perfectly wonderful morning until 11 seconds before I was pulling out of the driveway when he teased me about something and hurt my feelings. No, made me MAD. As mad as a hornet. A hornet with PMS. I knew I had to stop by the Walgreens on my way to work to get women’s personal supplies so, after waiting on the world’s longest stop light, I wheeled into the parking lot with considerable expression. (I’m not one given to road rage but I am on occasion given to husband rage.) I made a bee-line to the feminine supply aisle, looked through 47 different kinds (for crying out loud, I want choices at Starbucks. Not on the feminine aisle! What ever happened to two simple categories??? Next thing you know they’ll have supplies for women with highlights and without, with stay at home jobs or corporate careers. Oh, I am in such a bad mood).

THEN, TO TOP IT OFF, after I finally make my choice and am standing there balancing two jumbo size economy boxes, a man (did you hear me say A MAN?????) came right up to me and said, “I just wanted you to know that I just finished ‘Get Out of That Pit’ last night and it meant so much to me.” I nearly sent him back to the pit. OK, not really. He was so sweet. Now you’ve made me feel guilty. I nearly sent myself to the pit. There I was trying to act normal, with two (did I emphasize HUGE?) boxes of feminine supplies under my arm like a man would hold two footballs. It was the longest short conversation of my life.

I don’t know if I was just humiliated or having my first hot flash but then I started to sweat. I am in the worst mood. On my way to work I made my usual stop at Starbucks and after I made the order, I felt the first real stir of the Holy Spirit that I’d felt in a half hour and, under divine influence alone, blurted out, “You better make that a decaf today.”

To top it off, Keith hasn’t tried to call me yet. I’ve been dying for him to call so that I can let it ring and not answer it.

And here’s why I’m telling you all this. Because I am in the middle of researching the Book of Esther for the next study God is leading me to write and a good while back I chose the subtitle: “It’s Tough Being a Woman.” I just want to tell you in advance that, because I’m going to have to be proper in my approach, when I get to the end of that Bible Study, there won’t be a soul on the earth but a full grown woman who will know the HALF OF HOW TOUGH IT IS TO BE A WOMAN.

Sniff.

I love you, my fellow Siestas. And if you’re not a siesta, you might want to wait until tomorrow to talk to me. I’m in no mood today.

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